Official Newspaper of Eddy County since 1883
Official Newspaper of Eddy County since 1883
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Multi-lingual Translation It vas der nacht before Santa Clausen und all through the housen No noise makin’ by schweinhundt and mousen all qveiten Ooof-ta schmelly foot wearin up by the fireplace hangin’ Expecten guf elf Nicholas vould qvick be stuffing The kinderfolk vas restin’ qveit in dere sleepin’ havens Mit dreams of sugar plummins schottishing in heads Dere vas waif in babushka und mine cap down pullen Company not expectin’ und ready for long vinter schmoozing Vhen outsiden vas louden ba...
From the political rhetoric dominating public circles today, it seems that the Democrats are trying to convince themselves that they ought to impeach President Trump with their new muscle in the House of Representatives. That is not a good idea. We have had enough polarized politics. An impeachment effort, doomed to fail in the Senate, would drive an even greater wedge between the Republicans and Democrats. It seems that the political system is already coming apart and impeachment would shatter...
After 11 months of study, the 15-member task force on higher education proposed the addition of two new boards to the present system. At the same time, NDSU Economics Professor Beth Ingrim is pointing to the oncoming drought of high school graduates. In an article circulating in North Dakota newspapers, Professor Ingrim points out that even though North Dakota has a higher than average fertility rate, we are not producing enough high school seniors to sustain the present system of higher educati...
Hate stock is going up If you have anything like a “personal relationships” portfolio, it’s time to dump the “love stock” and “buy hate.” Hate is on the way up. The FBI announced recently that reported hate crimes were up 17 percent last year. However many hates are not reported because it is difficult to know when hate becomes a crime. I am sure hate has driven many married couples to think of homicide, but only a few try it even though the hate is there. Americans have always had somebody...
"We lost it," exclaimed Little Jimmy, the only town elector with a computer now in his seventh year of online college with Budapest Institute. The Community Homeland Security Committee had just been called to order by Chair Ork Dorken and was listening to Treasurer Orville Jordan's annual report when Little Jimmy came through the door. "Lost what?" barked Old Sievert from the stuffed chair in the sunlight. "Is Dawg gone again?" "Amazon did not pick us for the big expansion," Little Jimmy...
Listed herewith are the five winning suggestions for fighting voter ignorance. The entrants will receive certificates of outstanding civic merit. Unfortunately, the legislature abolished the cash award as a budget-balancing move. Dear Editor: So you want help in solving the voter ignorenc crisis which is a good idea. Every sober citizen should see we need to improve voter intelligens when he sees how the fools gave the U.S. of Congress to the Democrats and they elected all those wimmen. I h...
“Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty” and “those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it.” Those who tasted the bitterness of the Revolutionary War and the challenges of saving a democratic republic said it well. But it is the words and not the speakers that warn us of the vulnerability of democracy. The idea of a democracy is based on the assumption that people have the wisdom and judgment to run a country. In the era of the milk pail and one...
You can’t trust the voters The state legislature has been so meticulous at defending the polling place that it has now come up with a system that will disenfranchise a couple of hundred Native Americans because reservations do not have complete street addresses. Legislators claim that voter fraud could happen so let’s protect the electoral process. It’s like passing laws to keep whales out of swimming pools. But this is serious, so let’s not jest. So far my cursory research on voter fraud i...
The judicial branch of the federal government “will always be the least dangerous to the political rights of the Constitution,” Alexander Hamilton wrote in Federalist Paper 78. “The judiciary,” he continued, “has no influence over the sword or the purse” and “is beyond comparison the weakest of the three departments of power.” If he had been around during the fight over seating Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court, he would have realized that his observations were no longer true. The Supre...
When you get old, everything you open is a can of worms. Politics is never a choice between good and bad. It’s a choice between bad and worse. Sometimes, it isn’t even a choice. One-third of North Dakotans are obese, but not equally. My Uncle Olav was so fat that his shadow weighed three pounds. His wife, Olga, was so thin she had no shadow. McClusky sent a boat out to see where the canal went. They never came back. New Rockford sent a boat out to see where the canal went. They never came bac...
“Order! Order!” bellowed Chairperson Ork Dorken as he opened a special meeting of the Homeland Security Committee in the historic ZCBJ community hall. The town’s 12 electors were giddy with expectation, looking forward to three major economic development reports. Old Sievert was sitting in the skeptic’s lounge in the dark side of the hall, ready to do his usual naysaying. Garvey Erfald sat up front next to Ork as an honor for coordinating the initiative for the past six months. “Dorsey...
As though North Dakota doesn’t have a large enough choice of mind-altering addictions, Measure No. 3 on the general election ballot will ask the voters to approve unfettered use of marijuana for general consumption. This “recreational” drug is used to intentionally change the user’s state of mind in a way that modifies emotions, perceptions and feelings. It creates a real happy world which is not real or happy. An escape from reality. There are many good reasons for voting “No” on Measure No....
With the goal of protecting North Dakota governments from corruption, Measure No.1 has been placed on the Nov. 6 general election ballot as a constitutional amendment. Initiated by a citizen’s committee, the proposal covers campaign finances, transparency, lobbying and conflicts of interest. It creates a five-member citizens ethics commission to monitor guidelines and to receive reports from whistleblowers. Conflicts of interest are a matter of constant concern in legislative bodies made up o...
(Oskar and Olsok Thorvildsen, representing the local chapter of the World Association for Fairness, Justice and Equality, exited the elevator on the seventh floor of the state capitol where the Board of Equalization was holding its annual meeting to correct property assessments.) Oskar rapped on the office door and rushed in before being invited. “Is this the office for fairness, justice and equality? asked Oskar.” “We’re not known for that but we’ll take a kind word wherever we can find one....
We have the well-plugging fund, budget stabilization fund, abandoned mine fund, highway tax distribution fund, Legacy fund, coal development fund, Center of Excellence Fund and a few dozen more funds listed on the home page of the state treasurer. I would also recommend checking the five charts on her website explaining the oil tax distribution system we have patched together since oil was discovered in 1951. The only thing we lack is a “go-fund-me” fund. This house of fiscal cards has been cre...
Out of the bitter labor management conflicts of the 1880s and 1890s evolved what is known today as Labor Day passed into law in 1894. But it has gone the way of several other holidays, honored more for its shopping opportunities than recognition of the working people. Few spend Memorial Day honoring the defenders of the realm. Presidents Washington and Lincoln were denigrated by combining their birthdays into one generic President’s Day in which we have the liberty to celebrate presidents of o...
“North Dakota is conducting a prison experiment unlike anything else in the United States.” So says Governing Magazine, a nationwide publication for state and local government officials, in a four-page interview by David Kidd with North Dakota legislative committees and the Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. The concern of policymakers has been growing along with the mushrooming numbers of inmates logging in to the state prisons. For many of them, their fear of growing costs has bee...
Hold that hammer, political activist, before driving that yard sign into the ground. Your life and your sign may be in mortal danger. Not everybody likes those political poppies that compete with dandelions and crabgrass as the most hated of unwanted exhibitions on neatly trimmed yards. Most of the time, the intruders don’t match the yard décor. According to a nationwide survey conducted by ShieldCo, a sign company located in Maryland, one-tenth of the neighbors are so irritated by yard si...
(Tom Steyer, a smart investor who turned straw into gold by converting a puny $8 million into $30 billion in 20 years in the stock market, is now spreading his wealth by sponsoring a $10 million campaign to impeach President Donald Trump. So far, he has gathered 5,000,000 signatures on his petition.) Open Letter to Tom Steyer: Dear Tom: On Trump’s behalf, I will concede that he lies better than an Arabian rug. He is crude, ridicules minorities and is a bigger mistake for president than James B...
The Air Force plane drifted down to the tarmac of Osan Air Base in South Korea, sidled up the ramp and into the open cargo bay. Fifty-five service members respectfully brought out the remains of 55 soldiers who had lost their lives in the Korean Conflict. It took 75 years for them to come home. Launched to defend South Korea from world communism, the Korean Conflict left 33,739 Americans dead and 103,284 wounded. In mud and cold, they successfully defended the “containment policy” designed to st...
When Bump entered the spacious reception room in Hotel Kamp, Poot was already downing his second vodka-seven, irritated because Bump kept him waiting for 45 minutes. Ordinarily, people who did that disappeared the next day. “Sorry, I was late, but we had a hard time finding Hell Sinky,” Bump explained as he mixed a tumbler of vodka and Florida orange juice. “Actually, I thought Hell Sinky was in Iceland so we got a little diverted.” “That’s Reykjavik,” Poot noted. “I know that now. WOW airlines...
From Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary: 1. Asinine: relating to or resembling an ass; 2. marked by inexcusable failure to exercise intelligence or sound judgment. Yes, that’s the word that should be used to describe the proposed constitutional amendment that would ensure only United States citizens could vote in North Dakota. Of course, the North Dakota constitution already provides that only U.S. Citizens can vote, but the sponsors allege that the language in the constitution is ambiguous and...
Attorney General Jeff Sessions sent all of Washington scurrying for their Bibles recently when he defended his immigration policy by quoting Romans 13 to justify strict interpretation of applicable laws. “I would cite you to the Apostle Paul and his clear and wise command in Romans 13 to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes,” Sessions argued. Before taking up the consequences of his quotation of scripture used to oppose the Revolutionary War...
Dear Ben: In this season of celebration of the Declaration of Independence, most of us are grateful for your accomplishments in the Constitutional Convention. I would recollect the incident in which you were walking down the streets of Philadelphia after the convention and a fellow citizen asked: “What kind of government did you give us?” and you retorted: ”A republic, if you can keep it.” Through the decades, we have had to overcome serious crises to keep this republic. We fought England...
The 19-member Initiated and Referred Measures Study Commission has passed four recommendations to the Legislative Management Committee for further action before the upcoming 2019 North Dakota Legislative Session. The first proposal calls for inclusion of a fiscal impact of the proposed initiated or referred measure in the ballot language. The advocates of this proposal hope that disclosure of cost will kill any measure calling for expenditure. And if the legislature is in any way connected to ma...
