Official Newspaper of Eddy County since 1883
Official Newspaper of Eddy County since 1883
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The longer President Biden lingers in the vicinity of a live microphone, the higher the probability for mischief and yes, entertainment. Given enough time, he may even accidentally recite Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities in its entirety. I’ve been taken to task recently by Biden supporters and critics of the former president for highlighting Biden’s gaffes and misspeaks, including his calling Fox News White House correspondent, Peter Doocy, a “stupid son of a b—-” in response to a reasonable question about inflation. It’s interesting t...
Our elected representatives in Washington produce bad ideas like cows produce methane. But, if Congress really wants to do something to make the lives of Americans better – and remember, I said "if" – I have an idea. Not only would this idea garner significant bipartisan support, it would score massive political points without sowing further discord among Americans and driving the country one more level down to oblivion. Might be a nice change of pace. Here it is: Congress should imm...
I happen to believe vaccines are a good idea. That's why I got one. Everyone in my family is fully vaccinated against COVID-19. Furthermore, a lot of what I hear as justification for not getting vaccinated is nothing more than kooky talk, based neither in fact nor reality – from the DNA manipulation conspiracy theory to microchip implantation paranoia. By the way, if the government wants to shoot a chip into me so I can be tracked, go right ahead. You're likely to be very disappointed by what m...
The disappointing April jobs report should surprise absolutely no one, given that we now have a government more interested in providing incentives for people not to work, rather than paving the way to gainful employment. What this approach fails to account for is the value of work itself. There is something to be said for, and gained by, getting up in the morning, showing up at a place of business, putting in an honest day’s work and collecting a paycheck. That doesn’t mean all work is fun or even fulfilling, but it all has value. Of cou...
I've been hacked. Officially. Someone pretending to be me - go figure - has applied for unemployment benefits in my name. By the way, if you, whoever you are, really want to serve as my stuntman, there are a variety of situations in which you could actually be helpful to me. For example, the next student complaining about his or her grade would be a good start. Go for it, Pretend Me. You respond to the next email that begins, "Dear Professor: What can I do?!" My usual response of "How about...
I need someone to tell me what’s happening. Not a tinted version of events, but what’s really happening. I make the request because mainstream (if there is such a thing) news outlets seem to fundamentally disagree about what’s important. On Sunday morning, the top story on the Fox News website, complete with video, was rioting in west coast cities on the anniversary of Breonna Taylor’s death - a dozen or so arrests, vandalism, clashes with police. Sounded like a pretty big deal. In the interest of balance, (if there is such a thing), I went to...
I collect my hate mail. Not because it makes me angry or because I want to obsess over it. It’s just so interesting and I want to understand it. I receive a lot of emails in response to columns, and most are generally positive. But the negative ones are really negative. This fascinates me. For example, in a recent piece on how the media will miss President Trump when he’s gone, and vice versa, a reader unleashed a stream of consciousness under the subject “Absurd!” He went on to call me “demented” and then took a shot at Kentucky, where I cur...
Sure, we didn’t know who won right away, or the next day, or the day after that, but we still learned quite a bit from the election. Among other things, I learned that “pollster” should no longer be considered a job. Those who have made polling their life’s work need to pursue another vocation. They blew it “bigly” again, with an assist from a media that lapped up every flawed percentage point. In some cases, the media made a hash of their own polls. For example, on Oct. 28, a Washington Post poll had Biden with a 17 point lead over Presid...
My mother texted me a photograph on Sunday. That doesn’t sound like a newsworthy occasion, but mom had never texted anything to me or anyone else, ever. It was a photo of the flowers I sent her for Mother’s Day. The picture was a little grainy and out of focus, but that’s what a 15-year-old flip phone will get you. “Does this mean you’re going to start texting now?” I asked when I called her. “No. I don’t text.” “Why not?” “If you want to talk to me, you call me so I can hear your voice.” My sister bought mom a smartphone for Christmas a couple...
I bought a BMW. It’s a white convertible that screams “Midlife crisis!” from the highest rooftops. Of course, when I bought it two years ago, I didn’t think I was having a midlife crisis. I just thought I liked the car. Although, I don’t think most men in their fifties, who buy totally impractical sports cars, are rushing to their therapists with a self-diagnosed midlife crisis. Now, I’m doing what most middle-aged men do with impractical sports cars – I’m selling it. I love the car. I bathe it regularly and rub it with a diaper. It’s im...
I would love to know what my dog is thinking or feeling. Apparently, someone does know, or at least has an inkling. I recently stumbled upon an essay in the Wall Street Journal titled, “What does it feel like to be a dog?” The piece was written by Dr. Alexandra Horowitz who runs a dog cognition lab Barnard College. It’s a fascinating look at whether dogs experience emotions comparable to our own. First, let me make public and perfectly clear that I volunteer my Great Dane, Bosco, for any and all behavior modification studies and/or clinic...
If you observe politics the way I do – as one stares at a five-car pileup on the freeway – your gaping will always be rewarded. The House voted on Wednesday to impeach President Trump, but the rhetoric in the run-up to impeachment said a lot about the process. If you enjoy political hyperbole, you weren’t disappointed. During the debate on articles of impeachment, Rep. Barry Loudermilk (R-Ga.) searched for analogies to make a point about the injustice of Trump’s impeachment and came up with a doozy. “Pontius Pilate afforded more rights to Jesus...
She once ate an entire stack of pancakes – at least six or seven – while I was taking my daughter to the school bus. On Thanksgiving, several years ago, she ate the last piece of apple pie. I didn’t actually see her eat it but the dots were very connectable. She was the only one in the kitchen, the pie plate was empty, and there were pie crumbs all over her chin. She liked to nibble the bottoms of my shirts. The vet said it was a way for her to show affection, a sign of love. I have a drawer filled with t-shirts with little holes in them....
"This just in," as we say in the news business. British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher recently called Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden to complain about President Donald Trump. This is indeed big news, mainly because Thatcher has been dead for six years. But, if the former vice president says he spoke to Thatcher, who am I to question? Biden later corrected himself and said he was talking about current Prime Minister Theresa May, who is very much alive. Biden called the mistake a "Freudian slip," which is also kind of a strange th...
Bribing your way into college. Who would have thought? It would have been a way around my rather pedestrian exam scores. My old man did threaten to put a horse's head in the beds of several admissions officers but, fortunately, the good folks at Villanova University saw their way clear to let me in before my father went all Vito Corleone. I do wonder what would have become of me had I attended, say Harvard or Stanford. I dream. I dream. Perhaps I would have been secretary of state, or the president of a big company or a college professor with a...
"We don't report rumors." That seemed obvious when a newsroom colleague said it to me some 20 years ago. We had received information – which turned out to be unfounded – regarding some salacious stories about a local politician. "Wow, it's a good thing we don't report rumors," my colleague said, as we laughed off such an absurd notion. What has changed in two decades? We now report rumors, and innuendo, and speculation, and a lot of stuff that's flat out made up. When Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office has to release a statement deb...
It might be that our political discourse is what it is because those involved are satisfied with the status quo. The rest of us spend a lot of time wringing our hands over the apparent impossibility to find common ground on any important issues, at least until we realize that the loud voices on both the right and left aren't really all that interested in compromise. Political tribalism is evidently more comfortable and satisfying than actually trying to work through and find solutions to intractable problems. Psychologists have a term for this...
