Official Newspaper of Eddy County since 1883
Official Newspaper of Eddy County since 1883
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All of Washington is vibrating like the foam on a latte in the cup holder of a convertible jeep riding railroad tracks over a bridge. Republicans are scrambling to hold together their diverse coalition of rich white men frightened about the next election and well-to-do white men worried about the next election. Democrats also seem mildly engaged, which to them borders on a frenzy. It's all due to the substantial evidence that Donald Trump conspired to withhold military aid to Ukraine unless President Volodomyr Zelensky agreed to assist in the...
Got an embarrassing admission here. I was scheduled to summarize the Democratic candidates’ debate last week, but also had a deadline about the opening of the football season, and they kind of got mixed up together. Don't you hate it when two things vie for your attention at the same time? Must be what's making Donald Trump so irascible. Of course, when you get right down to it, the two do have quite a bit in common. Both politics and football are sports that don't finish until there's blood on the field. You cannot comment on either one w...
Alert! Alert! This is a test. This is only a test. A test of the Congressional Re- Arrival Warning System. Residents of the District of Colombia should remain on the lookout for male and female politicians walking the streets disguised as normal citizens. Although expert at camouflage, they can be recognized, notably by the crisp lines of their plumage, consisting mostly of dark business suits, but also by the incessant habit of spending every waking hour dialing district donors for dark dirty dollars. The second week of September is...
Nobody knows what the earliest word used by humans was. The general consensus is the Sumerians developed the first written language around 3500 BC, using wedge-shaped symbols called cuneiform. Scholars hypothesize that the first word was either "ouch" or "me," although "pie" had to have been up there since the shapes surely reminded the Sumerians of it. For the last 5,500 years humans have spent lifetimes searching for the best words to communicate. The precise word can make the difference between understanding and confusing people to the...
Sit the kids down. Let the dogs out. Prop the grandparents up. The nation's patience has been richly rewarded, because the eagerly awaited list of the Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2018 has been officially released. This truly is the most wonderful time of the year. But first a caution: please do not confuse this list with the top ten legitimate news stories of 2018. No. No. No. They are as different as charcoal sketches of historic steam engines and a bucket of compost. Like golden-stitched, sequined blue jean jackets are to chocolate browni...
