Eyes That See the Good in Things - March 5, 2018

Scrolling through Facebook seems to go much faster for me than it used to. Mostly because I see more posts of things that Facebook thinks I need to see and fewer posts from friends that I want to see, but somehow miss. Of course, I shift the blame to Facebook’s algorithms and not my own inattention.

To keep from missing the important things I WANT to see, I log in a couple of times a day and scroll quickly through the ads. As I was scrolling through way too many non-friend related posts, I saw a couple of friend’s names. Thinking the post was something they had shared, I stopped, only to find out they both like Amazon. I guess I needed to know that?

So, I kept scrolling and scrolled past one post. The face of the woman in the photo stopped me and I went back. There was just something about that face that reminded me of the aunt we just lost in December. Her regal posture, high cheekbones, the trendy hairstyle and stylish outfit gave me pause as I stopped to read the story that went with it.

The picture was of an elegant, 92-year-old, poised woman. This is a woman who is up and dressed before eight every morning with her hair and make-up done, even though she is legally blind. This woman moved to a nursing home after her husband of 70 years passed away and the move became a necessity. That also reminded me of my aunt’s story.

After a long wait in the nursing home lobby while her family worked with the social worker, business office and nursing team, she was finally told that her room was ready. With a sweet smile and the help of her walker, she moved to the elevator and listened to the visual description of her new room, a tiny room in comparison to the home she had just left.

“I love it,” she said with the enthusiasm of a child even though she hadn’t yet arrived at the room. The nursing home employee exclaimed that she hadn’t even seen the room yet.

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in my life.”

She went on to explain, “Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories. Thank you for your part in filling my memory bank. I am still depositing.”

As they talked, she shared her five simple rules for happiness. Free your heart from hatred and your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less. Enjoy every moment.

Simple rules, but wise words. This Facebook post was worth the stop; not only was the story a good one, but it brought back memories of my aunt. My aunt was a naturally giving person. Her church and the work she did there were very important to her. A volunteer mission trip as a doctor-nurse team took my aunt, uncle and cousins far away from us for a while, but by the time I was in high school, we had moved to a farm only twelve miles away from their home.

Sometimes when I remember things, I just kind of want to cuff myself upside the head and ask myself “what on earth was wrong with you?” One year, my aunt purchased season tickets to the Chester Fritz Auditorium on the University of North Dakota campus. Then, they invited my sister and me to go to the concerts with them. It was an introduction to styles of music that I hadn’t really heard before, other than in music class. And if I was honest, it was music that I really didn’t appreciate much at that time in my life.

It’s those memories that make me want to kick myself, because I know I made my feelings known to my mother when she told me I was going to those concerts. Yes, I let her know in no uncertain terms that I did not want to go. I didn’t share those same exact feelings with my aunt and uncle, but in my true teen-age form, I suppose I did sulk a little and they had to have known. And yet, they kept inviting these rather unappreciative teens and their mother kept saying yes. The expansion of my musical selections is something I’m grateful for now, even if I wasn’t then.

A memory I treasure with them was when they took my older sister and me to Winnipeg to see a traveling art exhibit that included some very famous paintings. Truthfully, I didn’t appreciate the abstract paintings then and I guess I still don’t, but as I walked through the museum that day, I realized that there were certain artists and art styles that I was really drawn to. It opened my eyes to an art appreciation that I hadn’t been open to before that. It was a great day and included a visit to a fancy French restaurant, and then a visit to Chinatown before we left for home.

After hearing about our day, my mom re-created the entrée we had at that restaurant. It’s one I still make every now and then. When I do, it brings up sweet memories of my aunt who was always interested in what I was doing, encouraged me to try new things and always wanted me to stretch my mind and my heart…to grow, just a little bit more.

Maybe I should read a few more of those Facebook stories; just look at the memories it pulled from my memory bank. It’s a good reminder to me to train my heart and mind to always see the good in things and that there is always something to be grateful for.

We would love to share local stories about the good things your eyes are seeing.

Stop in to share your stories with us, give us a call at 947-2417 or e-mail us at [email protected]. Or send a letter to Eyes That See the Good in Things, c/o Allison Lindgren, The Transcript, 6 8th St N., New Rockford, ND 58356.