Eyes that see the good in things: April 23, 2018

It seems to be a little gloomy today, although if the sun can burn through the fog, I think we might have the start of one of our first spring days.

It seems fitting that it’s a little overcast as I sit here and think about former First Lady Barbara Bush. I don’t know if you’ve read many of the articles, and I’m not sure you can back the statement up, but some are saying that she died as the most popular First Lady ever. Like I said, I don’t know if that’s true, but she was certainly someone I admired.  

Cartoonist Marshall Ramsey said in his article entitled Pearls of Steel, the Lessons of Barbara Bush, that we liked her because she was real. She reminded us of our grandmothers, or maybe a great aunt. Although we’ve never met her, we know “she was tough, witty, opinionated, stubborn, classy, real, ornery, loving, loyal, determined, self-effacing and protective. And she had the confidence to be able to laugh at herself,” Ramsey wrote.

Yes, as a matter of fact, that does sound like my grandma. And like many of our grandmothers, she faced fierce challenges in her life. One of them was when her daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. Although the family poured themselves into finding a cure to save their daughter Robin, she died just before her fourth birthday.

“I truly felt her soul go out of that beautiful little body. For one last time I combed her hair, and we held our precious little girl,” Bush read from her memoir in an interview that she and her husband did with their granddaughter, Jenna Bush Hager. “I never felt the presence of God more strongly than at that moment.”

The Bush family gave Robin’s little body to medical research, and they told Hager the decision to give the body to research was an easy one. “It wasn’t hard. It made us feel that something good is coming out of this precious little life. And today, almost nobody dies of leukemia,” Bush said.

At 28 years old Bush suffered the worst death she could imagine in losing her precious daughter. It has been said that her hair started to go white soon after. Also as a result of her daughter’s death, Bush became increasingly active in cancer research throughout her life, devoting time with the Leukemia Society of America.

Bush said in the interview that Robin’s death was something she never got over, but that was okay because it was also true that she is also a happy part of their life now.

“Robin to me is a joy. She’s like an angel to me, and she’s not a sadness or a sorrow. She is still with us. We need her, and yet we have her. We can’t touch her, and yet we can feel her. I hope she will stay in our house for a very, very long time,” Bush said.

Parents who have lost children know that it’s a life-changing experience. I think about my great-grandmother. As a mother to 14, she lost several young children to diseases for which there was no cure at the time. Diseases that are now treatable with antibiotics were so frighteningly dangerous back then.

She lost another son in the war, a fun-loving young man whose dimples flashed when he smiled. She also outlived several more of her children. I remember her attending some of those funerals and watching her as she stood over the caskets of one more of her “babies.” Her life was not easy, but she was strong, kind and loving. And she loved my brother’s dimples.

And then I think about my grandma who lost her young son in an accident, and my husband’s mother and his grandmother, who both lost young children. Though they didn’t speak of it often, they also said it is something you never get over. Yet they, just like Bush, had the strength and the fortitude to pick up and keep going, knowing their life had to heal because there were others who still needed them.

Maybe that was part of what made Bush feel so real to us as a country--her ability to open up and share the feelings she had, those feelings that never go away. Yet, while still feeling those emotions, she was able to rise up and be there for her family and, ultimately, for her country.

And so, I’ll close with the words of Ramsey:

“Her death has left me sad. Sad for a passing of an era. The time when politics was about service. Maybe, though, we can learn from her. We mourn but what can we learn from her? Here are few thoughts:

 • Be loyal to your family. Defend them when they deserve it and be “the Enforcer” when they don’t.

 • Never be afraid to speak your mind — even if it gets you in trouble.

 • Never take yourself too seriously.

 • Even if your pearls are fake, make sure you are real.

 • Make the people you love laugh.

 • Don’t be afraid to write love notes.

 • Put your family first. Your career won’t be holding your hand at the end.

 • Make people feel better after they’ve met you.”  

We would love to share local stories about the good things your eyes are seeing.

Stop in to share your stories with us, give us a call at 947-2417 or e-mail us at [email protected]. Or send a letter to Eyes That See the Good in Things, c/o Allison Lindgren, The Transcript, 6 8th St N., New Rockford, ND 58356.