Poor Lloyd's poor original almanac

When you get old, everything you open is a can of worms.

Politics is never a choice between good and bad. It’s a choice between bad and worse. Sometimes, it isn’t even a choice.

One-third of North Dakotans are obese, but not equally. My Uncle Olav was so fat that his shadow weighed three pounds. His wife, Olga, was so thin she had no shadow.

McClusky sent a boat out to see where the canal went. They never came back. New Rockford sent a boat out to see where the canal went. They never came back. They were found in a Carrington theater watching the Titanic.

It’s time for the state to authorize a university for West Fargo, the population of which is greater than Wahpeton, Mayville, Valley City, Devils Lake or Bottineau. Fair is fair.

God isn’t as interested in what you give as in what you keep.

After the midterm elections, scores of political addicts will join Politicians Anonymous where they start by nominating each other and then practice refusing nominations. Most of these groups will disappear at the second meeting because no one will accept nominations for club officers.

Western North Dakota is drained by the Missouri River; Eastern North Dakota is drained by Minneapolis.

Minnesota clams to have 10,000 lakes, but nobody cares to verify the number. Is it true? Even the Shadow doesn’t know.

In the Bible, it was considered a miracle when an ass spoke. It is quite common today. Some are running for office.

It has been said that man is the only animal who laughs and has a legislature. Addendum: and knows enough to quit laughing when the legislature is in session.

We used to see a lot of righteous indignation. We still see indignation but it isn’t righteous.

Less government carried to its logical conclusion would eventually mean no government. Logical conclusions always become illogical.

Run for lieutenant governor– the springboard to obscurity. Eventually, your picture will show up on milk cartons.

Winston Churchill claimed that democracy was the worst form of government of all that had been tried. After 2018, we should take another look at the other choices.

The colleges are in for a two percent budget cut in the upcoming session. The faculties are just going to teach two percent less content. The students are going to borrow more money. And the Heritage Fund will pass $5 billion.

If animals go to heaven, it may be heaven for the dogs, but it will be hell for the cats.

If you can’t stand a one-hour sermon on Sunday, what makes you think you will like being stuck in heaven forever?

A word to the wise is no longer sufficient. Inflation, you know.

Turning the other cheek these days is life-threatening.

Your sin will find you out. A Congressional committee will speed it up.

People getting handouts shouldn’t complain about people getting handouts.

It is rumored that some demonstrators are getting paid. Well at least they have jobs. Isn’t that what we wanted?