Eyes that see the good in things: Dec. 23, 2019

Someone asked me a while ago about my favorite childhood Christmas memory or tradition. The question has generated much thought about the family traditions we enjoyed. Tradition is defined as the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation. Memories are the act of retaining and reviving facts, events, impressions, or of recalling previous experiences. The menu changed, the place and people we celebrated with might change but there were things that always remained the same.

Our parents made the decision long ago that they wanted to give their kids special memories that would bind them together. As a result of that decision, our family always had our own family celebration. I come from a family of six kids. Two of us were teenagers when the last baby was born but we all have many of the same shared memories and traditions.

Before the first of December, one of us would make a paper chain to hang from the ceiling. Each day, we’d take turns removing a chain and waiting for the chain to get shorter. Another annual tradition and one of my favorite memories were the different ways that Mom and Dad made certain that we were involved in sharing the spirit of Christmas with others. The method changed throughout the years, as each of us kids has our own special memory.

One of my favorite memories from when I was a little girl was when we cut up all of the plastic dry cleaning bags that Mom had saved over the year. We cut them into strips about an inch and a half wide by about maybe six inches long and started tying those plastic strips to wire hangers that Dad had shaped into circle wreath forms. As we sat and tied the plastic strips to the hangers, we talked and sang. I remember Mom teaching us the song, “This Little Light of Mine” during one of those times.

By the time we were finished, we had a full plastic wreath. Mom sprayed it with white snow, fastened small, shiny, brightly colored glass ornaments to them and added a pretty bow. Then, we got to deliver the wreaths and a plate of baked goodies to some of the people in our town who weren’t able to get out. They seemed so happy to see us and I was so proud to deliver our beautiful wreaths. My younger sister said she didn’t remember making the plastic wreaths, but she remembered doing the same types of deliveries with Santa’s made from folded Reader’s Digest magazines.

The delivery that touched me most after I was an adult and had kids of my own. A co-worker of my husbands had a baby born prematurely that fall. We hadn’t realized just how much the medical bills for their premature daughter, along with their loss of wages had affected their finances. When my husband casually asked about their Christmas plans, the young dad told him that they had decided not to celebrate at all that year because they couldn’t afford it.

The thought of these young kids, who were the same age as my own, not having Christmas was not heart-breaking to me, and I went to my family. We hadn’t done a “special delivery” that year and my family was excited about the opportunity to help provide a Christmas for a family who wasn’t planning on having one. The boxes that were packed up and delivered by my husband that day included all the special food items needed for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day meals, goodie trays, fruit and gifts for the entire family.

Although these memories are fun to remember, I’ve been happy to watch as my younger brothers and sisters have carried the act of sharing to their own families, making it both a treasured memory and a tradition that is being passed down through the generations.

We traditionally celebrated on Christmas Eve. As children, we waited impatiently for the daylight to fade away to let the magic of the Christmas lights take over. As we grew older, we were more involved in the Christmas preparations. We spent the day preparing the meal, taking care of last-minute shopping, wrapping or even frantically trying to finish a homemade Christmas gift.

Since our parents wanted us to share in the spirit of giving, we all gave each other gifts for Christmas. I remember shopping trips where we wandered around the stores, trying to find gifts for all our family members that would fit within our budget. As we got older, Mom taught us the value of homemade gifts and I still have many of those gifts that my siblings made for me.

The china, crystal, and the special meal eaten around the dining room table, instead of at the kitchen table, was responsible for quieting the normally boisterous family. That was the one time of the year that the kids got coffee, which we drank out of china cups. Well, actually we got enough coffee added to the milk in our cups to tint the milk a little beige. My mom even decorated the sugar cubes for our Christmas coffee parties.

My favorite memory is that of our family Christmas program, one planned by the kids and performed for Mom and Dad and whoever was celebrating with us that year. My favorite Christmas tradition is our Christmas candle lighting. It was a tradition that started over 50 years ago when one of the older sisters was feeling really left out after their new baby brother was born. Mom used the candles to show that there is always enough love to go around. The flame symbolized love, and that loving someone else didn’t make your light get smaller.

We still light our candles and we always look forward to welcoming new members to our family and watching as they light their candle for the first time. I don’t know who enjoys it more… the kids or the adults. Each marriage and birth brighten our family’s light and increases its warmth. The tradition reinforces to each of us, the number of people we have in our lives who will be there for us to light our way, if we will only ask.

This year I look forward to watching as my new grandson’s candle is lit for the first time. My wish for him is a life filled with light, love and family and that as he grows, he is able to let his own light shine to others.

I know that you have memories of your own and my hope is that my memories help you to remember some that you’ve also forgotten, just like I did this year.

Have a Merry Christmas! 

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