Your call is not really important to us

I've been hacked. Officially. Someone pretending to be me - go figure - has applied for unemployment benefits in my name.

By the way, if you, whoever you are, really want to serve as my stuntman, there are a variety of situations in which you could actually be helpful to me. For example, the next student complaining about his or her grade would be a good start. Go for it, Pretend Me. You respond t...