Sermonette: October 2, 2023

This week as I was reading 2 Timothy, I came across a strange passage. For those who don’t know, this book and its companion 1 Timothy are letters from Paul to young Timothy and a must-read for all young pastors. As I read 2 Timothy 1, I arrived at verse 5:

“I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice, and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.”

This verse struck a chord in me because it hits a very dangerous and emotional issue in rural America today: our youth are leaving the church. The statistics vary widely but roughly 3 out of 5 children raised in the church will leave after age 15. In my experience (limited as it might be) this statistic is accurate, if not conservative for New Rockford. This is a painful truth that we have all experienced, as we watch our sons, daughters, nieces, nephews and grandchildren attend church from before they can walk through high school, but then leave the home and hardly ever attend church again – Often, dumping all the morality they were taught with the church attendance. We’ve all seen this, and no one seems to have an answer.

This is why I was caught by 2 Timothy 1:5. Timothy took on his mother’s faith, making it his own, just as she had taken her mother’s faith. There was no rebellion. No leaving the church when Timothy went to college. Lois, and then Eunice, sought to raise their children up in the faith, just as Proverbs 22:6 teaches: “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” More importantly, they were successful. Timothy learned the faith of his mother and grandmother and became a passionate and effective protégé for Paul.

So, what’s going on? Clearly, it is natural and normal for faith to pass from parents to children. We see it in Abraham to Isaac, Jacob to his sons, and Elizabeth and Zechariah to John the Baptist. So why is it so rare today? If one looks online, the blame goes to either politics or the latest generation’s quirks. They say kids leave because they don’t like the commitment, or they’re lazy or simply don’t like being told what to do. But I wonder if maybe we’re looking for problems in the wrong place. If a farmer plants seeds in a field and the field doesn’t produce, whose fault is it – the farmer or the field? The farmer; it’s his job to adjust and adapt to whatever the quirks of the field are. We don’t try to grow pineapples in North Dakota because the soil is incompatible with pineapples. So, I think the question needs to be asked of parents not kids, and that question is, "What kind of faith are we trying to plant in our youth?"

The faith I often see "taught" to teens is a faith based entirely on duty. Go to church every Sunday because you should. Help at church, because you should. Give exactly 10% because you should. Now, this mindset has worked with other generations with some success, but part of the reason why they call the newest generation the "Y" generation is because they love the question "why?" They ask ‘why do we go to church?’ and the answer, "because we should" or "because we always have" doesn’t cut it. Teens need to see a real reason why their families go to church, beyond "should". This is what I think is missing when preachers preach "biblical parenthood." It’s that fact that when Abraham was tested by God, Isaac was very much there. When Jacob limped back to camp after wrestling with the angel, his sons were listening as he retold his story. They were also right there and watched their proud and powerful father humble himself and seek forgiveness from Uncle Esau. I’m sure Timothy watched his mother’s life change when she became saved. Isaac, Jacob’s sons and Timothy didn’t need to ask why they had seen the answer. They would have known their parents' response: "Because of God. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice. Because I need to.”

It doesn’t take a lot of experience with teens to realize they mimic their parents’ actions far more than their teachings. I’m a pastor today not because my parents made me go to church for fourteen-plus years, but because I got to witness my father change when he rededicated his life to Jesus. Instead of being the guy who was only defined by his unbelievable work ethic, he was the middle-aged man who started an elementary school ministry because he saw a need. He became the guy who traveled to Mexico to help people he had never met. These and a million other actions affected me profoundly and leave me with a goal to live up to.

So, here’s my thought: if you want to raise your children up in the faith, ease up on drilling the actions, and focus upon showing your faith. Answer the "why" question with the way you act, because they’re always watching. Set the example and be the man and woman you (and Jesus) want them to be by pursuing God, not actions and looking good.